My Intoxicated Kitchen
by Spelled Out Your Name
Summary: After one drunken threesome with Tegan and Sara, Hannah Hart (host of My Drunk Kitchen) comes to terms with her feelings for one of them in this deliciously drunk and sexed out love triangle story.
1. Chapter 1

My Intoxicated Kitchen

Hannah's POV

"Boop boop!" I greet the camera and pop open a pricey champagne, spilling it all over the floor. "Oops. Hey! It's Hannah Hart and this week on My Drunk Kitchen we have two special guests!"

I raise my hands as my guests slowly stand up. "It's Tegan and Sara! And they're going to help me make some amazing pasta! Isn't that right guys?"

The twins look into the camera, smile and say," Yup," in unison.

"Alright. First ingredient. Bow tie pasta. Because pasta is always fashionable." Tegan passes me the box of bow ties just as Sara holds the pot filled with water. Our fingers touch slightly as I steady the pot and pour the pasta in. A shiver bolts down my spine.

"Is it legal to be drinking this much?" Sara smiles just as we all take a massive gulp of champagne.

"Well, we are trying to get drunk. It makes the food taste better."

"True," Tegan agrees. We continue on with the recipe and in the end it tastes amazing.

"Thanks for watching guys!" I say in closing. "Remember that I'll send out an update for Club W shortly! Bye!" Sara shuts off the camera and we all high five, taking in more bubbly champagne.

"This was actually really good," Sara says, continuing to eat more pasta.

"Thanks so much for helping me out guys," I smile. I laugh as they simultaneously wave my thanks away.

"No problem," Tegan pipes.

"Yeah," Sara says. "We'll be more than happy to do it again."

Tegan's POV

About two hours later we are all generously drunk. Sara puts her glass filled to the brim with champagne to her lips. She sloshes some down her front and we all crack up.

"I think you're the prettiest," Hannah slurs out the words to Sara as if her tongue were swollen.

Sara giggles and hiccups. "I think you're the prettiest," she slurs back. She leans in to Hannah and they kiss pretty sloppily. I down the rest of my alcohol and feel a throbbing in my pants.

When they pull away, I grab Sara's chin and kiss her, too. Our drunken tongues mesh under the bright lighting in the kitchen.

"How hot," Hannah says. She motions to me slowly, her intoxication transferring throughout her body. We lean across Sara and shove our tongues in each others mouths. Sara giggles between us.

"Get a room," Sara slurs.

"Good idea," Hannah responds grabbing both my and Sara's hand and drunkenly staggers us into the bedroom. We all crowd on the queen sized mattress and make out with each other deeply, slowly and hazily removing articles of clothing until we're all as bare as trees in the winter.

Hannah and I plop Sara back on the bed. We drunkenly team to kiss her face and stroke her hair. Hannah's flat chest rests on Sara's pearl white stomach, cute ass in the air, slightly swaying.

I nibble on -and breathe too hard into- Sara's ear. She giggles at me, her breath heavily peppered with the scent of pricey champagne. I'm not as drunk as the others but I'm still drunk enough.

Hannah trails sloppy kisses down Sara's body while I fumble up top with her breasts. I can't seem to get my coordination right and squeeze harder than I mean to.

I look down at Hannah and she's smiling and breathing all over my sister's clit. She keeps laughing which sets us all off in a drunken fit of chuckling.

"You don't do that," I smile, the words tumbling out of my mouth in a rush like a current. "Let me show you how," but I sound like "Leh meh shah yah ha."

I slide so ungracefully down between Sara's legs and spread them with my palms. Hannah scrambles up to the top and starts making out with my twin, hiccuping in between breaths.

I let my tongue swirl around, placing spit filled with champagne everywhere. I let the smell of her take me away.

Sara's POV

My vision is blurring and I'm hiccuping like crazy. "More alcohol!" I spurt out, throwing up my arms, and me and Hannah fall back laughing.

I start to feel Tegan's tongue and I relax into the treatment. I help Hannah onto my face as she teeters to try and get her balance. My tongue wiggles around and I chuckle in between her thighs. Hannah lets out soft, strangled moans as she hiccups.

I arch my back as Tegan now uses her fingers. We've all calmed down just enough to pleasure each other. I am gold, melting into the sweet mine that is Hannah's crisp, velvet thighs. She presses her pelvis down harder to my mouth.

I moan at her sweet juices and at Tegan's intoxicated but wise skill. My body twists and turns as I feel my climax approach. I moan and scream into Hannah's pussy, my hot breath making her shudder.

Tegan lays down on her back next to me, her head near my feet, her legs up and spread. Hannah reaches down and plays with her, still giving in to pleasure herself.

I nibble at the clit in front of me and that's what sets her off into a fit of spasms, moaning so loudly. She jerks and twitches above me before she collapses sideways and passes out.

Tegan whines so I crawl in such a staggered manner over Hannah and finish her off. I bite and lick and suck really hard, rubbing her clit in a circular way that makes her explode between my teeth.

I get up to go to the bathroom but then everything goes black and i feel my body hit the floor. God, I'm gonna have such a fucking headache in the morning.


	2. Chapter 2

Hannah's POV

I unpleasantly stir awake as the sunlight beats mercilessly down on my eyes. I blink multiple times and slowly, painfully, scan the room. I have the biggest hangover and it sure as hell is acknowledging itself.

I'm on the floor, wedged between my bed and my nightstand. I carefully stand up, realizing I'm naked. I look over and Tegan from Tegan and Sara is sprawled out, also naked, on my bed. Oh no. Did we. . .?

I press my palms into my eyes until little bright stars erupt. I stagger, gritting my teeth against the massive headache I have. I trudge towards the bathroom but stop dead when I see Sara, naked as well, on her side in front of the bathroom door, her arm bent so awkwardly behind her that I know it'll hurt when she wakes up.

I lightly step over her and into the bathroom, silently shutting the door. I look at my reflection and I look like straight up death. I have dark purple circles under my eyes and my hair is a mess. There are scratches and welts on my stomach, chest and back.

I clutch at my stomach as I feel the vomit creeping malevolently. I rush to the toilet, only slightly happy because I have short hair and don't have to worry about pulling it back. I lurch forward as I start retching everything from last night into the bowl.

I flush, brush my teeth and exit, getting dressed in a baggy tee and sweatpants. I go downstairs to take some heavy aspirin and begin to make some coffee. As I'm putting in the K-cup, I hear a scream from upstairs. Setting down my cup, I grab the bottle of aspirin and go up to see who's awake with me.

Tegan stares at me horrified as I stand in the doorway. She winces greatly and holds a hand to her head. "What the fuck," she groans softly.

"Good morning to you, too." I lean against the door frame. I hold out the bottle. "Take these with the tap from the sink in the bathroom."

Tegan nods, now pressing one hand to her mouth and grabbing the bottle with the other. She steps over the still sleeping Sara and scurries in the bathroom. I hear Tegan throwing up and coughing and make my way over to sit on the edge of the bed, head in my hands.

Tegan's POV

I emerge from the bathroom, medicine taken, vomit emptied. I go to sit next to a weak looking Hannah at the foot of the bed. "This isn't okay."

"No fucking kidding." Hannah places her elbows on her thighs and runs her fingers through her disheveled hair a couple times. "Lets wait for Sara to get up so we can figure everything out."

I study my twin's gorgeous, bare curves. I want to touch them again. It's been so long since we've held each other. After our girlfriend's found out about us, we haven't even talked about caressing each other's bodies. I internally sigh, heaving my chest outward, releasing it of guilty thoughts for the time being.

Hannah's back goes rigid as does mine when Sara finally starts to stir. Our heads whip in unison in her direction, knowing we're going to pay for it later.

Sara squints at us and when she moves her awkwardly twisted arm, she yelps out in pain, cradling it. She staggers to stand, wobbling into the wall.

"You alright, Sar?" I ask.

"What the fuck happened last night?" she asks, her voice groggy. For a moment her eyes flicker across my naked body with a sense of pure longing. She presses two fingers to her temple.

I toss her the medicine and she opens it and takes two dry. "Fuck," she mumbles into her palm.

"Come sit," Hannah says. She's eyeing Sara's body like a hawk. I straighten my spine, internally shooting death glares at Hannah. That's my sister. I get to look at her like that.

Sara's POV

I grab my discarded clothes and begin t dress. "Are you getting dressed or what?" I gesture to Tegan's bare frame. At this direct comment, Tegan awkwardly stands, suddenly uncomfortable and puts on her clothes from the previous night as well.

Hannah clears her throat. "Let's get this settled." Her eyes are bloodshot. "If either of you remember what happened last night, please share what you remember 'cause I was shitfaced." She folds her hands in her lap, eyes slicing expectantly at my sister and I.

"I only remember up to us getting into your bedroom," Tegan shares. "After that its completely dark."

Hannah cuts her glare at me, waiting. I shrug. "Everything after us being in your kitchen is utterly blank for me."

"Look," Tegan breathes, slaps her thigh and stands up. "Whatever happened happened. Lets just not speak of it again and let it ruin our relationships okay?" She turns to Hannah. "Thank you for letting us be on your show." She gives Hannah an awkward hug and makes an exit, leaving me and Hannah to drown in the uncomfortable silence.

"So. . .yeah." I rub at the back of my neck. "We're both adults here. We've both had sex in our lifetimes, more so me than you, I bet." We giggle, the air letting up just a bit.

"I'm sorry all of this happened." Hannah stands to face me.

"Hey," I say, lifting her chin with my knuckle. "People get drunk and they fuck. No big deal." I stand there for a minute more, being dragged into the ocean that is her eyes. I clear my throat dryly and turn to leave but she catches my wrist.

"Let's get drunk again together," she says before she crushes her lips onto mine, tongues and heartbeats colliding as one.


	3. Chapter 3

Hannah's POV

I push my still hungover body into Sara. She doesn't fight back. Her arms wrap around my neck and her tongue dabs at mine, causing our mouths to open deeper. Our feet shuffle as I slowly take her to the bed. We moan softly as I top her, headache now dull. With my knees on either side of her curves, I pull away from her and look down into her eyes. She looks so vulnerable under me with her arms over her head. She smiles at me and her nose crinkles in the most adorable way.

"Are you scared?" she asks me, tilting her pelvis up a little.

"Me?" I snort. "Don't be ridiculous." I smooth my palms over her bare arms, practically drooling at the mouth. Without any hesitation I remove her shirt and once again, her great breasts - bigger than mine - are in full view. Sara arches her back into me, her chest brushing mine. I flatten my hands against her lower back and pull her into me, taking her collarbone between my teeth. Her moan pushes me to go further faster.

"These need to go," Sara whispers, tugging at my shirt and my sweatpants. Her cool fingers plunge into my soaking folds. I sit on top of her thighs completely naked, inching her pants and underwear down, hitting the room with the sweet scent of her. Sara sits completely upright and shoots her digits in me. I bite my lip and wrap my arms around her shoulders, boring my eyes into hers.

I grind against her hand, rocking us at a steady pace. Sara's hand shifts a bit and I moan at her touch. She leans forward and rests her chin on my collarbone, licking and biting at my neck. "Oh Sara," I gasp out, throwing my hands on her hips and squeezing. I flip us so that she's on top.

"Hey now," she smiles, "take it easy. One of us is still hungover." She bites my bottom lip and continues to pump me. She licks tenderly down my torso, and taking an extra long lick at my bikini line. "I wonder," she laughs, "if when you cum will it just be gallons of liquor pouring out of you?"

I crack up. "Well, test it out and lets see," I say seductively. I keep eye contact as Sara removes her fingers despite my whines of protest. She pushes my thighs apart with the sides of her face and she gets to work, swirling her tongue over my hot skin. I tangle my fingers in her neatly cropped hair and pull her face closer. "Yes!" I hiss, arching my back into her. "Oh god."

Sara takes an extra long time sucking at my little pink button, completely sending me over the edge. Her fingers massage my outer folds, mouth working meticulously. She lets the tip of her tongue ride up and down my slit, causing a great wave of euphoria to wash over me. I don't ever want her to stop.

Tegan's POV

After I leave Hannah's home, I make a quick stop by the Starbucks and grab a large Pumpkin Spice coffee. I need it. Still groggy, I drive home and collapse on the couch. Lindsey is also home. She walks over to me and lifts my legs up so she can sit next to me but lets them back down on her lap.

"Where were you last night?" she asks. After the whole I-fucked-my-sister-a-million-times incident, Lindsey has upped her skepticism.

"Remember how Sara and I agreed to feature in Hannah Hart's My Drunk Kitchen episode?" Lindsey nods so I continue. "Well we all got pretty shitfaced. I blacked out and the next thing I know, I wake up still at her house." I play with my labret, trying to keep the guilty look in my eyes hidden and casual.

Lindsey draws circles with her delicate fingertips on my ankles. "You guys didn't. . .I mean you and Sara weren't. . ."

I shoot up my eyebrows in mock surprise. "No, no!" I lie. "No, I just had to much to drink and I crashed there." I plead with my eyes, looking for some sign of belief in hers at this statement.

Lindsey sighs. "Alright, Tee. I just don't want what happened between you guys for a long time apparently to start again. I love you too much for that to even begin." She brushes my hair back from my face. "You know when I found out, I wasn't sure how to deal. First off, that's just not natural. She's your twin."

_It's natural to me_, I think to myself but I just avert my eyes.

"And," she continues, "I was just ridiculously hurt. We've been together, you and I, for five years. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

I seethe internally. "Of course that fucking means something Linds! You're the only person I make my songs about! Doesn't _that _mean something to you?"

Lindsey stops tracing circles on my skin and folds her hands in her lamp. "Look, I'm just happy that you're home. It's just going to take me some time to move on from all that happened."

I nod, picking at a hangnail. "I understand."

"Oh for fuck's sake come here." Lindsey throws herself onto me and presses her soft lips to mine. Her knees dig into my sides as she tops me. I place my hands on the small of her back, kissing her passionately. We haven't had slow, meaningful sex in awhile. I lift her in my arms and carry her to our deliciously sized and comfortable bed.

Gently letting her down, I 'Boop' her nose and she smiles at me, eyes and the corners of her mouth crinkling. "I love you." She whispers it so delicately it's as if the words will crumble and break as soon as they hit the air between us.

I study the beauty of her face. "I love you, too." I remove her shirt and pull her into me as we both lay on our side. Using one hand to caress her face as we kiss and the other to unclasp her bra, I think that this is where my home is and where it should've been all along. Her warm skin shoots embers at my fingertips as they graze it. I pull away so I can slowly, with all the love I can, take off the rest of her clothes.

"I just want to feel you," I murmur into her thigh, slightly breathless from the kiss. Tugging off her jeans, I slide my still clothed body up her naked frame and hold her in my arms. I kiss at her neck and face and in between her supple breasts. "Let me prove to you that I can make this right again," I whisper.

Lindsey's eyes well up a little bit. "I want to be able to trust you, Tegan." She pushes my bangs behind my ear and really looks at me.

I bite my lip and try not to get overly emotional. I hide my tearing eyes by kissing her mouth and down her body, trailing down in her legs. "You will," I promise to her slightly glossy clit.

Sara's POV

"Hannah!" I cry out as her fingers hit the sweet spot once more. I'm on my hands and knees and she's fingering me from behind. "Oh god!" I grab onto her headboard and a huge wail tears its way from my throat, urging to be heard. I fall sideways, panting.

Hannah licks up my slit, cleaning me up, before crawling up to me and nestling up in the crook of my neck. "That was great," Hannah says deeply. Her pale cheeks are flushed and her blue eyes are wide.

"It really was," I admit. I start to get up and get dressed, hardly dizzy or nauseous anymore. "I have to get going though." I pull on my tight black pants and buckle the belt.

"Maybe we can do this another time?" Hannah looks at me hopefully.

I sigh. "Listen. You're amazing in bed, but I have a girlfriend and I don't think I can keep doing this."

She nods and clicks her tongue. "I totally understand. I mean you've been dishonest once already." She runs her hands up and down her naked body.

_More than once actually_, I think. I smile and kiss her. "Thanks for yesterday. . . and last night. . . and this morning." We laugh. "But we can still talk. It's not like we won't be in touch! We'll totally be hanging in between my touring and your webshow."

Hannah smiles. "Yeah. Well, I'll fuck ya next - I mean see ya next time." We hold each others seductive stare, grinning.

"Yeah. Next time."


End file.
